Okay finally after many suggestions and requests I finally have my own blog in which I’ll write whatever comes into my mind and whatever has happened with me time and again and well as many of my friends and those who have met me know that I speak whatever I think I just don’t give a shit to whatever you think of my words so you please don’t be amazed if you find anything “different”. For all those cynics “YOU AREN’T WELCOME” and I know I am not a good writer and please all the sarcastic a** h**** gimme a break I don’t wanna hear any of you condescending reviews or comments full of disdain. And yeah don’t think hard about anything I write as u might not be able to understand and finally give up in reading anymore as one of my friends did with my e-mails (u there Parul) And finally if u like the blog than good else f*** off! Happy reading!
So here I am having nothing to do but to think over my past, which does make me wonder that Himanshu is this what you dreamed of? And then an inner voice utters what the f*** where the hell have I landed! I mean yes I have what I dreamt but not in a way I had thought of I mean I have everything but still I am not having many things for example I have lost my true identity I mean I have lost what I used to be, in short I am not what I used to be a carefree, frivolous fellow but now I am always having one or other problem surrounding me and as my nature goes I don’t give up without a fight till the end so I am always trying to deal with one thing or another in the process of which sometimes I do break up and do all sorts of acts like yelling at my friends, shouting, throwing things away, screaming, running away, and my favorite I take my bicycle and ride it as fast as I can ( One benefit of having a campus like IIT Delhi hehehehehe! ) so if u find anyone passing you by at a high rated speed at around 2300-0200 hrs you should guess it would be me,well about which my friends do ask me about, and some have even suggested that its kiddish as if I never knew that but what the heck do u think I give a damn to what u think, not now my friend I have issues to deal! Otherwise do you really want me to throw things outta my rooms’ window? But anyways its cool to be freaked out, I mean I enjoy being in that mood, but guess what there’s this guy who I don’t know but he always has this look of “I am so frustrated” so I do have competition!
Now I have kind of started to hate myself for what I am, and I am loving it, I am loving to hate myself as I don’t think I have reached what I needed to so ………………..and I like hating myself, technically I hate my mentality I mean I think very much over everything because of which I waste much of my time, and also as I said it that I say anything I thing I want to straight on the face I mean when you least expect anything out of this weird gut you are unexpectedly bombed with something you just though no one could ever speak, as my friend Himanshu (a.k.a. Cookies, the jerk with the weird hairdo which he thinks is cool) says “you just end the conversation with a single word, its like someone speaks and out of the blues you pop up with some sentence which instantly ends everything” thanks buddy for giving such good complements! Now back to hating me stuff- I always dream big (who doesn’t) but there’s a catch I dream bigger! But every time I end up shattering them like anything! So whenever such a thing happens I tend to get furious and this is one thing that bugs me more than any thing else.
No comments:
Post a Comment